


Building Something

by adiwriting



Series: Heartbeat [10]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: But mostly fluff, Fluff and Angst, Handprint (Roswell), Implied Mpreg, Kid Fic, M/M, relationship building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 14:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30039849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adiwriting/pseuds/adiwriting
Summary: Alex spends the day getting to know his daughter.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Heartbeat [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2178315
Comments: 66
Kudos: 138





	Building Something

**Author's Note:**

> As with most things I write, I didn't intend for this to be so long... but Alex had so many feelings and Nova and he deserved some time to really come together.

Alex knocks on the door promptly at 8am. He’s been up for a few hours already. Several hours actually. He’d tossed and turned for most of the night and been unable to sleep as his mind raced with a million thoughts and nerves. So many nerves. 

Being at home alone last night with nothing to distract him hadn’t done him any favors. He’d ended up giving up on attempting to sleep around 2am and instead spent a significant amount of time on his computer bouncing back and forth between two distinct topics: uncovering the massive government conspiracy to cover up the 1947 UFO crash and how to bond with a 4 year old. 

He’s not sure which has him more nervous. The idea that there’s been aliens among them this entire time and the USAF has been so thorough in their coverup that even from within the organization and with technical skills, Alex hadn’t even questioned the official documents he’d seen claiming it was a balloon crash… Or the fact that he is a father and will be expected to somehow parent a child. 

Currently, as he listens to Michael scrambling on the other side of the door while he can hear Nova crying loudly, his nerves over being a father are winning out. 

The door opens to a frazzled looking Michael. 

“Hey, sorry,” he says, standing aside so Alex can enter the apartment. “I know I said we’d be ready but there was an accident with Laika and a bowl of cereal and, well, as you can probably hear, it didn’t end well for anyone.” 

“Laika?” Alex asks, confused. 

“Her stuffed dog,” he explains. “She goes everywhere with it. And now that Laika is currently in the washing machine, we are having a meltdown.” 

Alex nods and looks over to see Nova standing in the hallway wearing only a pair of underwear, holding a dress in her hand as she cries. 

“Sorry again. I swear we usually are ready by 8,” he apologizes. 

“It’s not like we’re going anywhere, right?” Alex says. 

“Right.” But Michael doesn’t look convinced. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex says even though the entire thing is throwing him. It’s hardly the best way to start what is already going to be a stressful experience for him. But this is parenting, right? His research had made it clear that tantrums were normal for preschool aged kids. It can’t be all sunshine and rainbows. 

“I no want ‘ika ta go in da baf,” Nova cries as she stomps her little foot and throws her arms up in the air dramatically. 

Micheal gives him one last apologetic look before he turns to go over to her. He watches as Michael takes the dress from her hands and pulls it over her head with a practiced ease Alex isn’t sure he’d ever be able to pull off as he says, “I know baby, but Laika got milk all over him and so now he’s gotta go in the wash or he’ll start to smell really bad.” 

“It okay,” she tells him with a pout. “No baf.” 

“You say that now,” Michael says. “I promise baby, he’s already in the wash. He’ll be done before lunch.” 

She sighs deeply as Michael wipes the tears from her eyes and then pulls her hair back out of her face with a headband. She then leans all of her weight against him as she continues to pout. 

Alex makes a mental note never to do anything to Laika, because he has no idea how he would handle a meltdown as patiently as Michael is right now. He wasn’t allowed meltdowns growing up. He wouldn’t know how a loving parent is supposed to act in these situations.

“Did you see who came to see you?” Michael asks in a staged whisper. He’s got an over excited smile on his face and Alex is struck by what a  _ dad _ he looks like right now. It looks good on him. 

Nova turns her head to look at him, keeping all her weight against Michael and her hands clutching his shirt. She doesn’t say anything, but she does try to hide her face in his chest. 

Michael picks her up and walks back over to Alex. 

“Hi,” he says in what he hopes is an encouraging tone. He read that it’s important to encourage kids when they are nervous and to have patience with them. 

“Hi,” she says, though it’s mumbled since she says it into Michael’s shirt. It’s a big difference from the outgoing girl he’d met yesterday and Alex wonders if all this is really because she’s missing her dog, or if it’s different now that she knows Alex is her father. He knows he’s certainly more nervous to talk to her today than he was yesterday now that he knows the truth. 

He struggles with what to say next, but thankfully, Michael helps fill the silence. 

“Hey, why don’t you show Alex the Magic School Bus? I bet he would love to watch it with you,” he says, sounding way too excited at the prospect. But Alex notices how Nova sits up more and starts to nod her head and he takes a mental note. 

Michael sets her down on the couch and hands her an old pink baby blanket. She immediately curls up in a corner and hugs it to herself, sucking her thumb as Michael goes to turn on the TV. 

“You can have a seat,” he says to him over his shoulder as he brings up Netflix. Alex notes that the account name says Isobel but there’s a little purple penguin that says Nova Mae. “I hope this is ok? Not sure what you had planned.” 

Truth be told, it’s great. He can handle watching TV. It’s a lot more low-risk than attempting to play dolls together or something. He knows how to watch TV. And it’ll give them something to talk about. 

Alex sits down on the couch, leaving plenty of space between Nova and himself. He takes a minute to look around the space. It’s not huge, but it’s big enough for the two of them. A far cry from the Airstream Michael used to own. There’s an old plaid blanket across the back of the couch that Alex recognizes well. It used to live in the back of Michael’s truck and they would use it to lay on when they went out to the desert to stargaze. Apart from that, everything else is unrecognizable. 

The walls are bare, but there are a handful of framed pictures on the end table. A photo of a sweaty, shirtless Michael smiling through tears as he holds a red faced and wrinkly Nova and assumes it has to be the day she was born. Beside it, there’s a photo of Michael in a black cap and gown with Sanders beside him. Nova is in his arms wearing a red dress and black headband, waving a UNM flag, with a Lobo Louie sticker on her cheek. They are surrounded by several adults Alex doesn’t recognize, many of whom are in academic regalia. Beside that is a photo of Nova sitting in Max’s lap, bundled up in a hat and coat, her curls blowing in the wind, cheeks rosey red. They are in some kind of stands and Alex assumes by Max’s UNM Football sweatshirt they must be at a game. The last picture is of Isobel holding Nova by the pool, kissing her cheek as Nova laughs. 

The whole thing makes his heart clench painfully. A whole life they’ve created together. It’s hard to see where he’d even fit in. 

The sound of the show starting up gets his attention and he turns back to Michael, who’s almost certainly caught him staring at the photos based on the pained look on his face. He hands the remote over to Alex, looking between the two of them nervously. Nova’s eyes never leave the screen. 

“I guess I’ll… I uh… I’ll just be out on the porch working on some things if you guys need anything,” he says, pointing towards a sliding glass door to their right. 

Alex nods, trying to appear confident. He’s got this, right? It’s not like they’ll truly be alone. If something comes up, Michael is just on the other side of the door. 

“Nova, you be good,” Michael says, moving to kiss her forehead. “And stop sucking your thumb, it’s messing up your teeth.” 

She takes her thumb out of her mouth and looks up at him. “Ika?” 

“I’ll bring Laika out as soon as he’s done,” he promises and she sighs. 

Michael leaves and it’s just the two of them. His heart races but he takes slow measured breaths and reminds himself that he’s alright. That he can do this. 

Nova puts her thumb back in her mouth and he’s pretty sure that he should tell her not to since Michael just told her to stop, but he doesn’t think that’s the best way to start a relationship with her. 

“So, uh… you like this stuff?” he asks, nodding towards the TV. He didn’t realize that kids still watched the Magic School Bus. He remembers watching it back when he was a kid. 

Nova nods but doesn’t say anything. Her eyes don’t leave the screen. He tries not to take it personally. That’s another thing he read. Nova clearly had a bad morning, so this can’t be entirely about him. Or at least, that’s what he’s trying to convince himself. 

“Who’s your favorite character?” he asks, hoping to find something that will engage her in conversation. Yesterday, she’d been so chatty. 

She points at the screen where there is a woman with red hair speaking, wearing a colorful skirt with the grasslands on it. 

“Is that supposed to be Mrs. Frizzle?” he asks and Nova nods her head. “She’s pretty cool.” 

“Daddy M’Fizzah,” she says, pulling the thumb out of her mouth and shifting around on the couch so she’s not so tightly wound. 

“Your dad is Mrs. Frizzle?” he asks, confused by what she means. 

“Yeah,” she says, offering no further explanation and it feels awkward to ask so they fall back into silence and watch the episode with no further communication. The show is alright. Not something he’d ever watch on his own, but he enjoys watching Nova watch the show. The way she giggles at the jokes and repeats various science words to herself, as if she’s trying to memorize them, or the way her eyes grow wide with wonder at various moments. She’s adorable. 

At one point during the middle of the episode, Michael comes back inside. 

“Not interrupting, just gotta go move the laundry along,” he says quietly, hands in the air like he expects Alex to be annoyed. He heads out the front door quietly and when he comes back, Nova sits up expectantly. 

“Ika?” she asks, hopefully. 

“In the dryer,” Michael says and Nova sighs, dramatically falling back into the couch again. 

Michael heads back outside and the episode finishes a minute or two later. “What do you want to do now?” Alex asks. 

She shrugs. Which is helpful. He’d been hoping she’d have some ideas because he has no idea what she’s into. 

“Well… what do you usually do for fun?” he asks her. 

“Pay face,” she says, eyes glued to the Netflix menu. 

“Play… space?” he asks, feeling like that’s what she’d called it yesterday, her speech is hard to understand. She nods and he feels proud of himself for remembering that about her. “Do you want to do that?” 

She shakes her head. 

“Do you…” he looks around the room for a clue of what else she might like to do but doesn’t see much. There are some toy rockets in the corner, but not much else. He thinks back to the things he used to enjoy as a kid. “Wanna play a game?” 

“Wike anopoly?” she asks, and at least this time, she looks over at him. 

“Sure,” he says, feeling more confident. They can play Monopoly. He hasn’t played it in years, but he can read the directions and he’s sure it will come back to him. 

“We don’t have it,” she tells him and he has to chuckle to himself even through his frustration. 

“Well why did you suggest it then?” he asks, keeping his tone light. 

She shrugs but there’s a mischievous smile on her face like she’s purposefully giving him a hard time and he narrows his eyes at her playfully, she just giggles and pulls her blanket around her again, turning back to the TV. 

He looks around the room again and sees nothing, but when he peaks into the small dining area, he can see a pair of Crashdown antennas, the same pair she was wearing yesterday. He stands up and walks over, curious. Perhaps there are more of her things in there. He picks up the antenna and hears the pitter-patter of little feet behind him, but doesn’t look, not wanting to scare her off. He smiles when he feels her take the antenna out of his hands. When he looks down at her, she’s putting them on her head. 

“You like those, huh?” he asks. 

“I an albien pincess,” she explains to him. His mind instantly goes to how true that actually is, but doesn’t dwell on that thought for long. 

“Well alien princesses are pretty cool,” he says with a smile, hoping it wins him some favor as she moves around the table to kneel in front of a basket in the corner that’s overflowing with books and toys. 

“Yeah, she agrees. “Wike pincess weia.” 

It takes him a minute to process her words, her little lisp difficult to understand. In the meantime, she pulls out a stuffed ball that, upon closer inspection, looks like a little Earth. “Princess Leia?” he asks. 

She nods and walks back over to the living room, clutching the Earth to her chest. 

“You know Princess Leia?” he asks, feeling a bit hopeful that they might actually have something to talk about. 

She nods as she climbs up onto the couch. 

“It’s my favorite movie,” he tells her. 

She tilts her head to the side, the antenna bobbling along. “You wike albiens?” she asks. 

“Yeah,” he answers immediately before realizing what he’s said. He’s always liked aliens theoretically, like in science fiction movies. He’d never really thought about it in reality, because he’d never believed any of the conspiracy theories peddled around town to the tourists. Not before yesterday. 

Now? He just knows that the whole situation confuses him and makes him feel off balance. But that doesn’t change the fact that he likes  _ Nova _ . 

She eyes him critically, then he notices her body language start to change. She becomes more relaxed. When he comes to sit back down on the couch, she moves to sit closer to him, leaning back against the couch and turning her head to look at him. “Maybe we can go to da wibeywee and we can bent Pincess Weia mofie?” 

“You wanna go get Star Wars from the library?” he asks. Her eyes grow big and a smile forms as she nods her head. “What if I told you we didn’t have to go to the library to watch Star Wars?” 

Alex has been on enough deployments that he’d stopped buying DVDs years ago. Now pretty much his entire movie collection has been purchased through Prime Video. If Nova wants to watch Star Wars, he owns them all, including every season of Clone Wars. 

“It not on Netfix,” she tells him, grabbing the remote and handing it to him. 

He just smiles at her conspiratorially and navigates the screen until he finds an icon for Amazon Prime preinstalled on the TV. 

“Daddy say dat not wok,” she tells him. “We no have it.” 

“I have it,” he tells her as he logs into his account. When he pulls up the first Star Wars movie, she stands up on the couch and points at the screen excitedly, and Alex can’t help but feel a bit of pride and excitement of his own. Finally, something they both can bond over. 

“It Pincess Weia mofie!” she exclaims. 

“It’s called Star Wars,” he tells her. 

“It Pincess Weia,” she corrects him and he can’t help but laugh. 

“Fair enough,” he says. “You’ve seen this then?” 

She nods as she jumps up and down. “We can wat it? 

“Sure,” he says, not seeing why not. If she’s this excited about it, he’s more than happy to go with it. Especially since Star Wars really is his favorite movie. He’s excited to share it with her and have something to bond over. 

She jumps back down onto her butt with the confidence and trust only a four year old can possess, then proceeds to grab her blanket and her stuffed Earth and situate herself so that she’s sitting directly beside him. Her little arm brushes his own and it feels like they’ve managed to cover more distance than just the few feet they’d been separated by before. 

He starts the movie, and as the music starts up for the intro, he bites his lips to keep from smiling as Nova carefully covers the two of them up with her pink blanket. It’s small and barely covers one thigh, but the warmth of the action alone can be felt through his whole body. 

“You haftah weed it to me,” she tells him as the words start to move on the screen. He happily complies and his heart soars as she snuggles into his side. He takes a chance and lifts his arm so she can better snuggle into him and when she doesn’t protest, he wraps it around her, pulling her in closer. 

He discovers quickly that she talks pretty much through the whole movie, but he doesn’t care. He’s seen it enough times to have it memorized and he’s just happy to be able to converse with her and get to know her better. He loves listening to her commentary and once she realizes that he actually does know what he’s talking about, he loves answering the endless questions she asks about all of the characters and places. 

They are a half-hour into the movie when the sliding door opens again and Michael steps back inside. 

“I see you resorted to bribery,” he says. 

Alex sits up nervously, realizing he’d never asked permission to play the movie for her. “I hope it’s okay?” he asks. “She said she’d already seen it, I didn’t think to ask…” 

“Alex, it’s fine,” Michael says, holding up his hand to silence him. 

“Daddy!” Nova exclaims loudly. “We not need ta go to da wibeywee!” she says, pointing at the screen. “He haf it!” 

“Your daddy is pretty cool,” Michael says, and it sends a thrill through Alex when Nova agrees without an ounce of hesitation, “yeah.” 

“I wasn’t trying to interrupt, I just needed some water and was gonna grab the laundry,” Michael says to him. “Do you need anything?” 

Alex shakes his head, not wanting to impose, but Nova has no such qualms. “Two dubox and popcon for da mofie.” 

“ _ Two _ juice boxes?” Michael asks, giving her an amused look as he crosses his arms. “On what planet are you drinking two juice boxes today ma’am?” 

“One fa me, one fa Ottah Daddy,” she says and Michael’s hands drop to his sides and his face softens with a smile. 

“Do you even know if your daddy likes juice boxes? Did you ask him.” 

Nova looks at him and Alex can barely contain his own smile. “I mean, I like juice boxes. Haven’t had one since I was 8, but yeah… I could use a juice box.” 

“Dey good,” Nova says. “Auntie Izz like ta put nay powit in it, but Daddy fay I’m not awowed.” 

Alex looks up at Michael confused, hoping for a translation, but Michael is suddenly uncomfortable, shifting around on his feet. 

“Acetone,” he explains quickly. “It’s, uh… an alien thing.” 

Alex nods like he understands when he doesn’t. He wants to know, but he doesn’t want to ask. Things with Nova are just getting comfortable and he doesn’t want to bring all the alien stuff into this and make things weird again. 

“I’ll just uh…” Michael nods back towards the kitchen and Alex nods. 

Nova looks towards the kitchen for a moment then back at him, her eyes calculating, but she’s quickly distracted by the sound of R2D2 and turns back to the movie, settling against him once more. When Michael returns a few minutes later with a bowl of popcorn for them, two juice boxes, and Laika, it’s with only a moment of fanfare for the dog Nova’s been missing. Michael makes sure that they are both good and then he’s back out onto the porch to work on whatever project he’s got going. 

“You no wike Daddy?” she asks him when Michael finishes sliding the door shut. The question surprises him and he wonders what she sees in his face when he looks at Michael for her to come to that conclusion. 

“I like your daddy,” Alex answers, finding it’s true. He does still like Michael. Still loves him in fact. He’s just confused. And angry. And hurt. 

“Do you wike da dubox?” she asks, and he’s momentarily surprised by the sudden change in topic. It’s good though, it distracts him from spiraling too deep into his thoughts about Michael.

“It’s good,” he tells her. 

She beams at him before turning to her dog and feeding him some of the popcorn from the bowl. It doesn’t take long for her attention to go back to the movie and her commentary to start up again. Her endless questions keep his mind from being able to drift back to Michael for more than a moment here or there. 

About halfway through the movie, Nova moves the popcorn bowl to the coffee table and crawls into his lap, not bothering to ask for permission and though Alex doesn’t usually like his personal space being invaded, he finds that when it’s Nova invading his space, he doesn’t mind it one bit. 

**

Alex sits on the couch with Nova asleep in his lap, barely moving a muscle for fear of waking her. He wouldn’t wake her for the world, she looks too precious to disturb and he’s pretty sure he’d murder anyone who tried. Instead, he studies her. Allows himself the time to really see her. To take in how the slope of her nose is so similar to Michael’s. How her curls, longer than Michael’s, are even more wild than his. How the light brown strands turn golden whenever the light streaming in from the window catches them just right. The way her little bottom lips sticks out just so when she’s sleeping. How her eyes flutter as she dreams, making it clear her mind is ever at work even in slumber. Her beautiful, brilliant mind. Just like her daddy. 

But regardless of the fact that she is unmistakably Michael’s daughter, in nature and nurture, there are still pieces of himself he can find with a careful investigation. The hints of himself are more subtle, but present nonetheless. She’s got his dark brown eyes and the way her eyebrows furrow when she’s thinking reminds him of himself. Then there’s her giggle and the way her nose crinkles that are very much a reflection of his own. She’s his, even if it’s not immediately obvious in the way it is with Michael. He wonders if, the more time they spend together, she’ll start taking on more of his mannerisms the way she’s taken on so many of Michael’s. 

It doesn’t matter. He’ll love her the same regardless… He’s just curious. Everything about Nova is endlessly fascinating to him. He still can’t quite believe that he and Michael managed to make a child together, let alone a child as wonderful as Nova Mae. 

The sliding door opens and Michael steps back inside. He glances over at them, noticing Nova sleeping and instantly looks horrified. 

“Oh shit, sorry,” Michael says. “She does that sometimes. But she sleeps like the dead. I can help move her if you need to go.” 

Alex holds his hand up to stop Michael as he moves closer with outstretched arms. He has zero interest in leaving right now, and hopes that Michael isn’t about to ask him to go. 

“I’m okay,” he says. 

“You sure?” Michael asks, his voice tentative. 

“I’m good here,” he says, his voice sure and leaving no room for argument. Michael nods and Alex can see that his eyes are watery as he tilts his head and gives him a soft look. Alex has to look away, he’s not ready for Michael to be looking at him like that. He needs time. 

He quickly finds something to say before Michael comes up with one of his overly romantic lines that always have Alex throwing caution to the wind and jumping head first into something he’s never ready for. “She’s amazing.” 

Michael lets out a shaky breath. “Yeah. She is.” 

“It’s hard to believe that we made her,” he says, looking down at Nova, who hasn’t stirred in the slightest with their conversation. 

“It’s easy to believe  _ you _ did,” Michael says fondly. 

And there it is. Alex pushes down the emotions that line brings up in him, not ready to feel them. Today is about Nova and reconnecting with her. He can deal with his conflicting emotions over Michael another time. 

“I’m glad she warmed up to me,” he says, eager to keep the conversation focused strictly on Nova. 

“Yeah, she just needed you to relax more,” Michael says. When Alex gives him a confused look, he adds, “She’s empathic.” 

Alex’s eyebrows furrow, the way Michael’s saying it, he’s pretty sure they are working off of different definitions. 

“She’s an empath? That’s her power,” Michael explains. “Well, kind of. She’s still too young to fully have access to her abilities, but they’re still there. Not that she’s really aware of them.” 

“So she feels what we feel?” he asks, his heart starting to race with nerves as Michael nods. 

“They have to be strong emotions, like I said she’s still little,” Michael continues to explain. “But yeah. If an emotion is strong enough, she feeds off of it. That’s why she was so upset yesterday.” 

Fuck. His therapist would have a field day with this, if only he could tell her. Basically, what Michael is saying, is that all of Alex’s shit is impacting his kid negatively. As if he wasn’t going to fuck this up all on his own somehow, now he’s got alien superpowers to help him along. 

“I didn’t realize,” he says. 

“I didn’t tell you yesterday,” Michael says.

“Yeah, and what else haven’t you told me?” he snaps and Nova’s hand twists in his shirt as she whimpers in her sleep. He grimaces, feeling like an asshole and takes several deep breaths. 

Michael stares at the carpet for several long moments as they both sit there in painful silence. 

“I can’t give you back the last four years, I know that. Just…” Michael looks like he wants to say something but stops himself and shakes his head. “I know you’re pissed at me, and that’s okay. Thank you for coming today anyways. I want you and Nova to be able to have a relationship, that’s what’s important here.” 

Alex nods as he feels a warmth move over him. “I want that too.” 

Michael gives him a tight smile before pointing behind himself towards the kitchen. “I’m gonna go make lunch. You staying?” 

“If that’s not a problem?” he says, not wanting to impose, but he couldn’t imagine leaving for the world. Not now that he’s just getting to know Nova. He’s got four years of missed time to make up for. 

“It’s never a problem,” Michael says seriously, then heads into the kitchen. 

Alex is surprised to find that most of his negative emotions have faded quickly, and when he looks down, Nova’s hand is over his heart and he swears he saw a flash of something out of the corner of his eyes, even if everything looks perfectly normal now. Weird. 

He ducks down to kiss the top of her head, and notices that while she doesn’t smell quiet like the intense rainstorm that is Michael Guerin, she’s got the slightest hint of what he can only describe as morning dew. 

He breathes the scent in deep, allowing it to settle his nerves even as his mind races with what Michael just told him. His daughter is an empath. Why does that somehow feel like the universe trying to send him a sign? 

**

Nova sits in Alex’s lap, her antenna occasionally hitting him in the face whenever she gets overly-excited and they start bouncing around uncontrollably. His arms are wrapped around her body, hugging her to him while she moves the small little magnetic UFO around the board, trying to solve the puzzle and capture all the little cows on the game board. He’d been impressed to see how easily she’d moved through several of the challenge cards in the game, but they’d quickly hit harder ones and Alex had to offer some hints so Nova could solve the puzzles. Not that he minded in the slightest. He loves watching her mind at work. Loves seeing how frustrated she gets when she can’t solve something right away, but how she doesn’t give up easily. Enjoys that she’s confident in her own ability to problem solve. 

“I can do had dings,” she tells herself whenever something gets too difficult, quoting a poster she has hanging on the wall of a brain lifting weights with the words ‘you can do hard things.’ 

In that regard, Michael’s done an amazing job raising her. Honestly, in every regard, Michael’s done an amazing job with her. Alex can’t help but feel envious of the ease with which he clearly fell into fatherhood. It makes him wonder why Nova would even need him around. But he’s selfish enough to not question it, because he has already fallen in love with her and he wants to keep her around always. 

He’s fully prepared to call his therapist in the morning, the one he’d quit the moment the military told him it was no longer required, and start up sessions again so that he can be the best father possible for Nova Mae. She deserves his best effort. He’s determined to do better for her than he had growing up and knowing that she’s an empath, only solidifies the knowledge that he could very easily repeat the cycle with Nova if he doesn’t find a way to deal with his shit and be more open with his love and affection and less transparent with his inner turmoil. 

There’s a knock on the open door and when Alex looks up, Michael is standing there, still in his jeans, but with a well worn UNM hoodie now thrown over his thin T-shirt. He looks comfortable and cozy, and Alex feels the need to cuddle with him, which is wildly inappropriate given how things are between them currently. 

“Daddy! Come pay,” Nova says, waving him into the room. 

“Sorry Baby, it’s nearly 8pm and past your bedtime,” Michael says as he comes into the room to join them on the floor and Nova immediately crawls out of Alex’s lap and into Michael’s, cuddling into him much in the way Alex had just been thinking about doing. 

8pm. He’s been here all day at Nova’s request, and really, of his own desire to spend every moment he can with her. After lunch, Michael had given him an out, and plenty of outs since then, but Alex hadn’t taken any of them. Instead, they’d drawn on the sidewalk with chalk, made cookies, played “space,” and they’ve been playing Invasion of the Cow Snatchers in Nova’s bedroom since dinner over two hours ago. 

“We pay one mo?” Nova asks but when Michael shakes his head, Nova’s entire face falls and Alex’s mood drops right along with her. She looks to Alex and asks, “You going home now?” 

Alex nods, giving her a sad smile. “Yeah, it sounds like it’s your bedtime, Kiddo, and I’ve gotta drive back to my house.” 

He tries not to think about the fifty minute drive between here and his cabin. Not because he can’t drive at night, he certainly can, easily. But because all day he’s been thinking about how far away his place is from Michael’s and how much he hates it. How he’s too far away for quick, spontaneous drop-in visits throughout the week. How he’s too far away to fairly ask Michael to bring Nova over to his place to hang out sometimes. How, god forbid, if anything ever happened to Nova, he’s too far away to get here quickly. Too far away to protect her properly. 

All day, he’s been trying to mentally fit Nova into his daily life because he wants her to have a spot in his life. A regular, daily place with him. But he keeps coming back to how, not only is his cabin not built for kids — no matter what his dad thought every time he brought them all up there for hunting trips — but that it’s just so far away from everything. 

Nova shakes her head and looks over at Michael and it’s clear she’s starting to panic at the prospect of him leaving, which breaks his heart and has his mind racing with a million thoughts and worries. 

“No bedtime,” she argues. 

“Yes bedtime,” Michael says firmly, but not without empathy. “It’s already past your normal bedtime, Baby, and Alex has already spent the entire day with you. We need to let him go home.” 

Her bottom lip starts to quiver as her eyes water and Alex starts to worry about the upcoming goodbye, even though logically, he knows that they’ll see each other again. 

“I’ll come back another time and we can play some more, how about that?” Alex offers, but Nova shakes her head. It’s not good enough, and he knows it’s not good enough because he feels it too. The despair of impending separation hurts. 

“No, fay,” she says, tears now falling from her eyes. 

“Baby, he can’t stay,” Michael explains carefully. “We don’t have a bed for him and all of his stuff is at his house—” 

“He can feep in my bed,” Nova offers, her eyes pleading. “I can feep wit you.” 

“He’ll come back another time, I promise,” Michael says, hugging her to him. Alex can see that even Michael’s eyes are starting to water and he wonders what it is they are doing? If all of them are this upset, should he really be leaving? Even he is panicked at the idea of saying goodbye. There’s a warmth in his chest and a heavy worry in his heart. 

Still, he knows that he has to go home. He doesn’t live here and until he does  _ — Until _ he does? What a weird place for his mind to go. He doesn’t live here and they are all going to have to start trusting goodbyes as a ‘see you later’ and not a forever thing. 

“I work early tomorrow, which means I’ll be done in plenty of time for dinner,” Alex says, looking at Michael, hoping it’s okay for him to offer this to her. They haven’t talked about it and Alex has no idea if they have other plans. Michael nods his head. 

“Yeah, hey, that sounds good doesn’t it?” Michael tries. “Having dinner together tomorrow?” 

Nova sniffles into Michael’s shoulder as she raises her arm to wipe her tears with the back of her hand. “You weed a towee wif me?” Nova asks, her voice still shaky from the tears and Alex doesn’t quite understand her so he looks to Michael for a translation. 

“You want Alex to read a bedtime story with you?” Michael asks and Nova nods. 

“I, uh,” Alex looks to Michael to make sure that’s okay before he answers her. Michael nods and Alex smiles down at her, reaching out to pull at one of her wild curls. “I would love to read a bedtime story with you.” 

“One story,” Michael says, giving her a serious look. “And then Alex has to go home. No tears, no argument, deal?” 

Nova nods but apparently that’s not good enough because Michael says sternly, “Nova Mae, deal?” 

“Yes Daddy,” Nova says. “One ‘towe den feep.” 

“Okay,” Michael says, satisfied. He lifts her up until she stands and asks her to get ready for bed. 

Michael heads out of the room and Alex hears him open the bathroom door in the hallway while Nova pulls out her PJs from a drawer and takes off her dress. He watches what is clearly a well oiled bedtime routine. When she has her PJs on — a pair of shorts with little molecules on them and an oversized, faded Fall Out Boy T-shirt that looks way too familiar to Alex to be a coincidence — she hurries off to the bathroom in the hallway where he hears Michael talking her through going potty and brushing her teeth properly. 

Alex moves to sit on her bed, his hip feeling sore from sitting on the ground for so long. He rubs at his thigh, promising himself that he’ll do his PT exercise and stretches when he gets home. He’s not always great about doing them, but if he’s going to be trying to keep up with an energetic four year old, he’s going to need to do better. 

Nova comes running back into the room after a few minutes, her smile a mile wide and Alex’s heart lightens instantly. “So what are we reading?” he asks. 

“No weed,” she says, shaking her head as she climbs into bed, crawling over him in the process and kneeing him in the balls. Michael sends him a sympathetic look from his spot in the doorway and Alex wonders how often she does the same to him. Thankfully, she hadn’t kneed him with that much might. 

“You don’t want me to read?” Alex asks her. 

“Daddy weed,” she informs him. “We wifen.” 

“Oh you want me to read do you?” Michael asks, stepping into the room fully. “I thought you asked Alex to stay so he could read to you.” 

Nova looks over at Alex and pulls on his sleeve until he lays down next to her and she can cuddle into his chest. “Daddy weed, Ottah Daddy wifen.” 

Michael looks at him and he just shrugs. Their daughter had given them fairly clear instructions and Alex is more than happy to lay here and listen to a bedtime story rather than read it. He’s interested to see what kind of story they tend to read together and if Michael is the kind of dad to do all of the voices in a book or not. He wants to know what Nova will be comparing him to and what will be expected of him whenever the day comes that it’s his job to read the story. 

Michael picks up a book off of the nightstand and sits down at the end of the bed. Nova instantly shakes her head. 

“No Daddy,” she says, patting the empty space to her left where there’s a small space between the wall and her. 

“Somebody is very bossy today,” Michael says, even as he climbs into bed regardless. For a moment, Alex gets a strong whiff of his stormy scene and has very vivid memories of the two of them in an entirely different bed together… but that thought is easy to push down quickly when there’s a four year old between them. 

“Auntie Iz fay you can’t caw me dat. I’m jut fong.” 

Alex is about to ask what ‘fong’ means when Michael says, “Just strong?” Michael snorts. “Yeah, I bet she did say that. Cause she’s even bossier than you.” 

Nova doesn’t say anything, just settles back against Alex, hugging his arm to her. 

“So what are we reading Daddy?” Alex asks, and Michael sends him a look that Alex can’t describe as anything but emotional and Alex finds that his heart is full of nothing but affection for the man. 

“Um… I, uh…” Michael struggles for a moment or two before he shakes his head and clears his throat, looking down at the book and saying in an overly enthusiastic voice, “Women in Science.” 

“It about women who do bewee coo’ fience,” Nova tells him with a big smile on her face. 

“Sounds perfect,” he says. He pulls his arm out from her grip so he can wrap it around her body and hug her to him, while his free arm goes behind him to pillow his head. 

Michael opens up the book and starts reading to them about Katia Krafft. Alex enjoys listening to Michael stop and explain various facts about volcanology and the way Nova hangs on his every word. His heart melts as Michael patiently tries to help her properly pronounce all the difficult vocabulary and how Nova comes up with some pretty impressive questions to ask about the topic. 

She’s obviously advanced for her age, which he already knew when he saw her doing multiplication yesterday, but this solidifies that. She's inherited Michael’s genius. He briefly wonders if it’s just an alien thing, before remembering how much Max and Isobel had struggled in math. Clearly, it’s just a Guerin thing. 

Alex catches her yawning several times and by the time Michael is shutting the book, her eyes have grown heavy. 

“No weave,” she says through another yawn and though that worry is still there, it’s more muted. Alex feels better about leaving her, knowing he’ll see her again tomorrow after work. 

Michael kisses the top of her head, pulling the antenna off of her head in the process and setting them on the nightstand. “We made a deal, Baby. Alex would stay for one story. Now we’ve gotta honor it so he will want to come back, right?” 

Nova sighs. She turns around so that she can hug Alex one more time before letting go. 

“We haf dinnah tomowow?” she asks. 

“I promise,” Alex says. 

“At da Catdown?” she asks and Michael lets out a surprised laugh. 

“You are a manipulative little sneak,” Michael says, reaching over to tickle her, causing her to erupt in the world’s biggest and most adorable big belly laugh. 

“Daddy, fop!” she calls out through her laughter. When Michael finally does, Nova turns to look up at Alex expectantly, waiting for his answer. 

“We can eat wherever you’d like, my treat,” Alex says. “So long as Daddy says it’s okay.” 

“Softie,” Michael teases quietly and she climbs out of bed. 

“I wuf you,” Nova says and it takes Alex a minute to realize that she’s saying it to him. 

His eyes well up with unexpected tears as a wave of affection moves through him. He opens his mouth to say it back, but the words don’t come naturally for him like they do her. He’s never said them before. Not to anyone. If he ever said them to his family, he can’t remember it and he has never said it to his friends. He’s never even said it to Michael, to whom the words would ring most true. But he feels it though, for her. Knows that love is the most accurate label for how he feels for her. 

He clears his throat and is able to loosen the words from within. “I love you too, Nova Mae,” he says, kissing her forehead. He stands up and moves away from the bed so Michael can finish the rest of their bedtime routine. 

Nova hugs Michael tightly as she tells him she loves him and he promises that he loves her more. The entire exchange has Alex’s feeling like he’s turning into a puddle. Michael then pulls the covers over her shoulders and checks that she’s got Laika with her. He whispers one final ‘I love you’ into her ear and kisses her cheek before telling her goodnight. When he flips off the lamp, instantly the room goes black but is flooded in thousands of small white stars from a projector in the ceiling. 

Nova’s eyes close and her breathing evens out before Michael even makes it to the door. He nods towards the hallway and they both silently step outside and close the door behind them. 

“Thank you for staying,” Michael says quietly as they walk towards the front door. He grows louder the further away they get from Nova’s room. “I’ve honestly never seen her like that before. Not even when Is or Max leave.” 

Michael’s eyes drift back towards her bedroom and he looks a bit worried and Alex instantly wants to help soothe any anxiety he has.

“I was happy to stay,” he says, finding he means it. Of course he wanted to spend more time with Nova, but he also had enjoyed being around Michael, seeing him in full Dad-mode. It’s not like he’d had any better plans. The only thing on his agenda today had been to go grocery shopping, and since Michael had fed him lunch and dinner, he’ll be set ‘til he can get to the store tomorrow. 

“So, that Fall Out Boy t-shirt she was wearing?” he asks and Michael immediately blushes and looks down at the carpet. 

“Yeah, I always meant to return it to you but…” Michael says as he kicks at some imaginary spot in the carpet. 

“But?” he presses, amused, wanting to hear the end of that sentence even though he’s pretty sure he knows what Michael is too nervous to say. It’s the same reason that Alex still has one of Michael’s old flannels under his bed that he pulls out when he’s feeling especially lonely and pathetic. 

“But after several years I figured you weren’t missing it?” Michael says, hopeful and Alex laughs, shaking his head. 

“It’s fine, I assumed it got thrown out by my dad when he tossed the rest of my stuff,” he explains. “I’m glad Nova has it.” 

“She loves it,” Michael says. “It’s one of her favorite things to sleep in. Though… if I’m being honest, I never told her it was yours.” 

Alex nods. He gets it, though it does make him feel disappointed that Nova’s has had a piece of him this entire time and never knew it. He’s surprised when that disappointment doesn’t shift to anger like it usually does. 

“You know, you’re really good with her,” he says, hating how awkward the compliment sounds coming off of his tongue. 

“So are you,” Michael tells him, the praise flowing off of his tongue much more eloquently. 

It’s Alex’s turn to blush and duck his head, not really knowing what to do with those words, but finding he’s not as interested in pushing those feelings of affection down as he was this morning. 

He looks up and something in Michael’s eyes draws him in like a magnet. He steps forward into his space as he says, “Michael…” 

Just his name, it’s all he can say, but in those two syllables, Alex hopes Michael hears the question, the longing, the desire… 

Michael takes a step back and shakes his head. Alex is instantly confused. Had he misread? He’s assumed Michael wanted this… 

“You’re gonna get home and you’re gonna see a tiny handprint on your heart,” Michael tells him. Says the words like they pain him. “A gift from Nova.” 

Alex looks down at his chest, confused, but can’t see anything on his shirt. He’s tempted to pull his collar away so he can see his chest, but he’s also nervous to look. If this is something alien, he’s not sure how he’ll deal with it and doesn’t want to offend Michael. He only wants Michael to feel good things, like Alex feels for him. 

“She doesn’t mean to. She rarely does it and when she does, it’s in her sleep,” he moves to explain quickly. “But regardless, it’s a psychic connection between you. The feelings you’re feeling for me? That calm? That affection? The lack of anger? That’s Nova, not you.” 

Michael looks away and Alex hears him sniffle before looking back with a sad smile. “It’ll fade. The handprint? She’s so little and her powers are weak. The connection won’t stay for long. It’ll fade by lunch tomorrow. But until then, I think it’s probably best we just say goodnight before we do something you’ll regret.” 

Alex’s head is spinning and he has a thousand more questions to ask, and he wants to protest. To tell him that he knows his own heart and that he wants this. But maybe Michael is right. Maybe his feelings are just an illusion. A magic trick brought on by alien superpowers that he doesn’t understand. So he stays silent and Michael holds the door open for him and Alex can tell that he’s serious about him leaving. 

“Goodnight,” Alex says, stepping out into the main hallway for the building. 

“Goodnight Alex,” Michael says with a sad wave. “We’ll see you for dinner tomorrow.” 

The door closes and Alex walks out to his car, mind still racing. He pulls away his collar to look down at his chest and sure enough, there is a small iridescent handprint on his chest right over his heart. He reaches under his shirt to lay his hand against it and instantly he feels a rush of warmth and love. He feels Nova. 

It should freak him out. All the rest of the alien stuff is so difficult for him to wrap his mind around. The reveal that everything he thought to be true about his world is false has shaken him greatly… but this? This handprint? This connection to his child? He can’t help but cherish it. 

He walks to his car, sure that anyone that sees him caressing his chest must think he’s insane, but he doesn’t care. His fingers trace the outline of it and he loves the way that warmth floods his chest every time he touches it. 

He might not be the perfect dad yet like Michael, but he’s Nova’s dad and she loves him and that’s enough. 

For the first time in a long time, he actually feels like he might be enough for somebody. 


End file.
